Dating Archives - Daily Log

December 27, 2017

Dating in 2017

As the year ends it makes sense to wrap it with a summary. Ups and downs of dating in 2017.
Ups:

More choices. A lot of people are way more open about dating and wasting less time on meaningless chatter
More freedom. Way fewer people feel like they need to lock you down and chain to themselves
Technology. Dating apps galore, barely have time to switch between them. Some people are still on OkCupid or even Match.com but I have a feeling those are dying out quickly
Flexibility. Picking a place to meet or to spend time at, choices are almost limitless.
Kink is good. Love it or hate it, but movies like 50 Shades and Gerald’s Game have definitely opened up some people. If it was taboo for them, now they can be a little bit more open and it’s easier to get the person talking to see if your kinks match

Downs:

Idiocy continues. Idiots harassing opposite genders, lawsuits galore, greedy scumbags profiting from sexual harassment cases – all of that puts many people on the defensive. A consensual relationship may turn into something else just on one of partners say-so.
Too many choices. Why bother figuring out this woman (or that guy) if another one is just a swipe away. Are her eyes a wrong shade of blue? Pass. Is he wearing sneakers to work? Pass.
Prejudice is still going strong. Are you into kink? You must be a pervert and should be in jail. Are you watching porn? Oh, you’re so not a dating material. You want to do what to me? You’re disgusting.
Racism. Goes both ways. This race blames that for one thing or another. That race advocates only to date within their race because that other race is full of bigots and racists. All shades and colors are in disarray and everyone is blaming everyone else for this. No one looks at themselves and thinks – what the actual fuck am I doing? Everyone’s too busy looking for someone else to blame.
Greed is not always good. Dating up is a thing and once you’re out of your full-time gig at Burger King you are the one to be dated up TO. Sad to see people break up with their partners so that they can get to someone with more money in their pockets.
Sugar mommy/sugar daddy. I was oblivious how much of the thing this is. I was blind, but now I see. Apparently, it’s not only a thing to do – it is also a thing to brag about to your friends (real or otherwise), post shit you’ve gotten from multiple “mommies” or “daddies” on Instagram, discuss amounts received and so on. I am so behind on times, I am sad with myself.

February 6, 2010

I Don’t Want Nothing Serious – Why Is She Telling You Just The Opposite Of What She Thinks

You are sitting comfortably on a date with the girl you like more and more every minute. You get to that point of conversation where you’re about to share what you want to do with your life in the next ten to twenty years. You, the brave man, venture ahead and boldly say that you want yourself some family, some kids, some stability. In her turn she’s telling you that she doesn’t want anything serious. You sit there a bit disappointed and crushed – after all you kind of liked her and you thought this just might get serious enough…

Here’s where you got to stop. There are few things that may have happened, so be a man and DON’T rush to conclusions immediately. After all, a little thought goes a long way.

1. She is playing you. That is, of course, the most obvious explanation. Basically she waits for you to say “Yeah, I have never believed in that serious relationship thing anyway”. Once you’ve said that – and unless she’s really that kind of the game – you’re done for.

2. She is teasing you. While this means something similar to the previous one, but still different. If she really likes you and your perception of seriousness, she may throw in some fun by saying she doesn’t care. That is, of course, if she’s aware that you have shown to have a sense of humor.

3. She is serious. That’s the biggest disappointment, I know, but yet there are still a couple of chances where you can improve the situation. Yes, she may not be interested in a serious dating – for now. Maybe she’s still recovering from the previous botched relationship. Maybe she just hasn’t met the right guy for so long she got too cynical about it. Or maybe she’s just saying it out loud so that it would turn out not true.

In either case – she’s not saying what she thinks. What you really want to do is figure out what does she hide behind those words. It’s a little dating game and you absolutely must play it – unless you want to bail out right there and then.

First thing you should do is t0 take a deep breath before you say anything else. Think the response through, as that may be an end to the date or a beginning of a beautiful relationship. Then you would want to say is something like: “Sure, I respect your view on this, so why don’t we take things slow and see where this will lead us to“. Now the important this is NOT TO SAY ANYTHING ELSE. If you blurt something like “and then maybe you will reconsider and marry me”, especially on a first or a second date – you’re in a bad shape. Just let it hang in there, because it’s a proposition to leave things going the way they were before. If she’s happy with it – she will agree to it. If she’s not – you don’t need to waste your time and energy on her anymore. In either case you’ll end up knowing more about where your relationship is going and that’s a good thing.

January 5, 2010

Date You? Why Do You Think She Might Want To Date You?

Just yesterday one of my friends was telling me how she broke up with her live-in boyfriend on January 1st. Admit it, it happens. Just yesterday you were celebrating and kissing, and today she slammed the door in your face and went to live with her parents/friend or (even worse) her new boyfriend. Or it could have been you who slammed the door and told her to go somewhere else. Shit happens. Dating shit happens even more often. It doesn’t matter anymore just after the moment you broke up. You’re back to dating, back into the search mode.

Now, you back on the dating market, what should you do? 5 simple steps should help you out.

1. Forget your grievances. I know, it’s hard, but until you do – don’t even think of showing up on any dating web site. Women have this “seventh sense”, they feel when you just coming out of a bad relationship, so unless you’re looking for mother-son type of relationship (more on that later) – don’t!

2. Do your homework. Once you over the break up, think why your relationship failed, especially how you contributed to the failure. Speaking from experience, it’s best done during the next mentioned activity.

3. Hit the gym! Holidays are food, fun, food and some more food. Everyone knows it, but it doesn’t mean she will accept your “love handles, extraordinaire“. Get back to your gym, your diet, your running routine, whatever – just get back in shape ASAP. If you want the best, you must give out your best.

4. Don’t bring your old relationship into the new one. This may sound like #1 on the list, but I actually mean something else. Even after you get over the break up, you still will be trying to take things as they used to be. Maybe she will let you slide once after you say “My ex-girlfriend always made coffee in the morning”, but if it gets a bit too repetitive you may find making only one cup of coffee instead of two.

5. Dress up! Whatever your ex was telling you about the way she wanted you to dress – forget that for a moment and dress nice and appropriate. Maybe she liked that “bad boy” style, maybe she wanted to be seen with total geek – whatever her choice was, there is a little chance you will make exactly the same impression on all the other girls you are planning to meet. So dress up, just a notch above the line so she would take you seriously.

With Valentine’s Day only weeks away, you may want to straighten up your image and get to searching so that someone truly significant will feed you those cheesy strawberries with creme or chocolates in February. Good luck!

December 31, 2009

Christmas Story – A Day After

(This is part 4. Click here for Part 3, Part 2 or Part 1)

So the next day comes and she calls him. They exchange pleasantries and agree to meet later on that day for a Friday night date. Obviously, there’s no talk about clubs, parties or any other stuff. They have decided to simply meet, talk and, maybe, walk.

Around 8 o’clock they’ve settled in a small restaurant, quiet enough that they could actually talk. She was persuasive as a devil himself, so our guy believed there was a legit reason for her to miss the date (Ahh, that persuasion force, triple-D on a bra scale – how many men have fallen for it). Since it was Friday already, there was no need to get up early tomorrow morning, so they sat and talk for hours. Then he drove her home and again – they talked for another couple of hours. She was wearing some sort of semi-transparent long skirt, so not only her curves were seductively partially visible, but also her gorgeous legs. She definitely knew how to capture man’s attention and keep it all to herself. When the clock in the car was showing 2:21am they decided to finish the date with a long goodnight kiss. By some 2:40am he was able to catch a breath and started a car on the way home.

Next few days passed, they met, walked or went out, kissing more passionately and more often. However, she was running out of new dresses. He was also running out – of patience. She noticed him getting anxious about taking the relationship to the next step (wasn’t that obvious!) and brought up an interesting discovery. Being a hot attractive woman she was never short of man’s attention. What she was short of, was men who wanted a good relationship. So she came up with this idea that the man should patiently win her over – in due time. She wasn’t shy of having sex, in fact, one of the reasons why she kept going out with our guy was that she was interested in him and having a healthy sexual relationship – all perks attached. Not just having hot sex, but having a full-blown relationship. Hot relationship.

And for that, she said, she wants him to change his wardrobe. Coming from the point when our guy was overweight and wearing size 42 clothes, it kind of made sense. So they went on a shopping spree. 5 hours and $5,000 later she finally was happy with the way her man looked on the outside. As a side benefit she got to see what’s under the bulky clothes and she loved every piece of it. But one last piece remained untouched. She decided if she wanted to put it out she want to do it in style.

They took a spontaneous trip to Philadelphia. Why Philadelphia? I asked them both – neither have any idea. It just sort of popped up in conversation. They booked a room in a plain hotel in the center of Philadelphia. He prepared a little surprise for her though. Once she walked into the reception area and said her name the receptionist handed her a huge bouquet of orchids, her favorite flowers, while he was still parking the car outside. Given that they have arrived at 10pm, this counted for double the brownie points. They got into their room and…

Well, let’s just wrap the story up by saying that next day they woke up late. Right around the corner from the hotel where they were staying there is a Philadelphia Love Park. That is where they took their first picture together – right under that huge red sign. And as they told me there wasn’t a day after that they spent apart ever since.

December 14, 2009

9 Reasons Not To Date Her – No Matter How Hot She Is

There are one solid reason why you should date any woman you like and that is – you are straight, you like her, you want her. That’s well and understood. However, there are a few reasons why you should NOT date that girl, and I urge you to read through carefully and consider your options.

1. There is a feature or two that you like, but overall she’s not your cup of tea. DON’T DO IT. Those features get easily lost in a day to day life. Trust me, you are going to annoy each other to hell and back, so if you don’t absolutely love everything about that person – don’t date her.

2. She’s a gold digger. This should be a no-brainer, but some guys do indeed loose their brains somewhere around their ass. Unless you print money in your basement, no matter how much you are making there will never be enough. True, you are making money so that most of it would be spend on girls or by girls, but please be a man, not an ATM.

3. She has a busy social life. Everyone needs to party from time to time, there is nothing wrong with that. But if whenever you call her, you find her partying it means that either you don’t call too often or she parties too much. Do you want to date a girl who’s only objective in life is to go to as many parties as possible?

4. She has busy family life. No doubt about it, if she helps her older parents that deserves a highest respect. However, if taking her out on a date becomes a problem because she needs to do this and that around the house or needs to run errands for her cousin – maybe you should be looking for a date elsewhere.

5. She is a busy working bee. Career is important, building it is hard. Some people do indeed work 24×7, but it doesn’t mean you don’t get to enjoy personal life. We are not talking about ideal balance, but balance is what you should be looking for. If she pays more attention to her Blackberry than to anything you had to say throughout the whole evening – wish her good luck and search again.

6. She has those “special” friends. It doesn’t mean you have to strip her of her friendships with other people, not at all. But again, there has to be some balance between what she does and with whom. When you are just starting – there isn’t much you could or should do about that, but when your relationship is already well underway special friends (who take priority over you) aren’t a good sign. You will just have to figure it out if they are rooting against you or if you have good relationships with them too, as they may have their own agenda: for all you know they may be working hard not to lose their benefits.

7. She has substance issues. You are not going to believe it, but there is a big number of people who actually think they can save someone by having a relationship with that person. Once in a blue moon it may help – and that is when you might read it all over the news. Here’s an example that I think perfectly illustrates it. Imagine you are standing on a table, near the edge. Imagine another person (who you are trying to save and bring to your level) is standing next to you on the floor. How hard would it be to pull that person up onto the table? How hard would it be for that person to bring you down? See what I mean?

8. She is a known cheater. Sorry, no matter how many times she is saying that she loves you, if she is not happy with something – she will cheat again and again. If you plan on having an open relationship – that’s fine, but if you want to have a foundation for a family – I doubt this will be acceptable.

9. She has attention issues. This is sort of two-in one point, so bear with me. If she thinks she doesn’t get enough attention from you and other people – she will go to great lengths to attract it. Dressing provocatively and following up on such provocations is the bare minimum of what you should expect. Alternatively, if she does not give you enough attention (whatever the reasons are), it usually means that on her scale of importance of things, you are somewhere between her pet and a mail man. Of course, you know all the stories about the mail man, but have you seen any of them ending with “they lived happily ever after“?

December 9, 2009

Dating Advice For Girls: What Do Guys See On A Date

Just recently I had a very interesting conversation with one young single lady. Her problem, as she described it, was that she kept picking wrong guys for herself. When I asked her with a question – why does it happen all the time, she said that good guys don’t want her, so she ends up with bad ones. So what do we, guys, essentially see in a woman on a date?

We see your body. Especially on a first date – this is the first thing we are paying attention to. Some like curves, some like slim shape, it doesn’t matter. What matters is – we look at how good you look. If you think you can impress us with your smarts and wits – be smart enough to shape up, dress up and put on your make up.
We see woman’s body language. We may not be able to read all the signs or read through, but if your eyes are drifting away all the time – we can spot it. If a woman is constantly checking her phone (or worse yet – her Blackberry) – we take note.
We see how other guys are looking at you. If no one is impressed – we don’t want it. Believe it or not – we do value peer review. So if other guys are looking at us with envy, or not even looking at us because they look at you – we made the right choice.
We pay attention to what you are saying. Men mostly are straightforward. If woman says she’d like pizza – we go and get some pizza for her and for us. Or take her to such place. We don’t see this as yet another puzzle that, when solved, should reveal the desire to be taken on a long night walk at the beach with some champagne, flowers and poems under the Moon. Really, you said pizza, didn’t you?
We pay attention to the difference between that picture in your dating profile and the real thing that just landed in the chair across from us. If the difference is too significant – we will run away. The more the difference the faster the speed. Want to manipulate men? Here’s your chance.
We see a desperate woman when she is desperate. Everyone hits a rough patch once in a while, the idea is not to lose control over yourself because of that. If you seem desperate – we see you as an easy target. Some may take advantage of that, but most men will likely pass you by. We are hunters, if prey falls from the sky into our hands – where’s the excitement? We move on immediately. If we feed on a healthy prey – we get better at hunting. Those who pick you up after us are scavengers. You don’t want them.
We understand that nobody is perfect. We may turn the blind eye to some of the shortcomings, but if there are too many – we can’t. Neither can you. As I have said – no one is perfect, no matter what your mom told you.
We don’t like to rush things, so we immediately see when women do. Picking up a good name for baby is good for 3rd month of pregnancy, not 3rd month of dating. Of course most women want marriage, children and the whole thing. But rushing us into it may just make us do the opposite. At one time there was a popular story when after a one-night stand guy wakes up with a girl next to him in his bed. And the first thing he hears is “and in that corner we will put baby’s cradle”.
Last, but not least. We see how you react to our faults. If a guy dropped a fork on the floor, or spilled wine on the table and all he hears is how clumsy he is – chances are that this is his last date with you. You can call him gazillion times – he will not go out with you again. He doesn’t need another mom telling him how to do simple things.

November 18, 2009

Body Language – Listen When Her Body Talks To You

Recently I had a sort of unpleasant experience with YANIG – Yet Another Not Interested Girl. To make long story short – I liked her, tried to get her out for a date, but failed miserably – twice. However, it didn’t come as a surprise at all, mainly because this was a long shot (she’s probably twice as small as I am and for some people it matters) and because I hadn’t seen much of interest coming from her. But I was indeed interested – and that was enough to at least try. Twice.

So why did I try then? Well, it’s always worth a shot. Maybe she’s too shy, shut and closed in her own world. Maybe she just isn’t sure you will like her – and she does not want to fail anymore than you do. Or maybe she is simply not that into you. How could you tell? READ THE BODY LANGUAGE!

Hope I made that loud enough. To tell you the truth – this is the main reason I was not surprised – I have read the response to every single approach a few seconds before the girl replied with ordinary pleasantries. In fact, after about 15 minutes I could probably foretell most of her responses to generic pre-dating questions, and after two dates (if I would get them, of course) I would probably be able to imagine how the relationship would unfold. And how it would inevitably crumble. She’s not interested, what can I do, right?

Unless she’s a professional actress or a real pro at deceiving people (in which case you don’t really want to deal with all the consequences) she will give it away by speaking with her body, not the words. If you watched recent “Lie To Me” or old “The Negotiator” with Kevin Spacey and Samuel L. Jackson, you probably know what I mean. However, you are at much better position here – nobody’s life is at stake. No one is going to jail. Everyone is relaxed – or at least should be – so the probability of her body lying to you is a lot smaller. Which is your opportunity now that you must cease!

Now, you, on the other hand, will have to control yourself and do what men are supposed to do if they want to get a date – LISTEN! But not only words, but body moves too. Of course, you’ve read and heard about how if the person touches his or her nose it means they’re lying, or if they cover their mouth they are scared of saying something they don’t want. Like that’s going to help you!

SO WHERE IS THE DICTIONARY? Tough luck, boys, there’s none. If someone would come up with dictionary for women body language – they’d be the richest people in the world. Gold, oil, gas, diamonds – everything can be acquired one way or the other, only women will always drive men crazy. But back to our subject. How do you tell if a girl is interested in you if she carries her purse or tote and simply can’t cover her mouth each time she’s not telling you something?

Simple. Watch the whole body. If you are on a date at the cafe – watch the pose. If she’s crossing her arms in front of her – it’s called a defensive stance and she wants to protect herself from you, so slow down on those compliments. Worse yet if she puts her large bag on her lap in front of her – she is almost scared! If she’s looking around once every few seconds – either she’s very uncomfortable (and you have to ask what’s wrong, maybe she just needs to excuse herself to the bathroom) or she is VERY not interested and looking for distraction. Of course she may just be checking the place where you brought her to, but watch for the expression on her face when she’s scanning the area. If she’s fumbling with her accessories – she’s probably nervous about something (could be, or could be not you – try to find out).

One of the hardest things in reading the body language of the person you have never seen (or seen just once or twice) is weeding out the false alarms. What if she’s having allergies and that is the reason why she’s touching her nose – not because she’s a pathological liar. What if mosquito bit her ear last night and she’s fumbling with her earrings to make itching go away – not because she’s inventing some fake story about herself. What if she’s a single mom and checking her cell phone because she’s expecting that her babysitter will call any minute and ruin an amazing time she’s having with you.

As I have said – there is no dictionary for woman’s body language, but you can write one for the kind of girls you like. As long as it makes you both happy – good luck!

November 6, 2009

Friday Advisory – How To Succeed On Dating Web Sites

Aside from all the seriousness that you approach dating with, sometimes you need to relax, take a step back, look at the whole thing and smile. So, without further ado here’s your Friday Advice – How To Succeed On Dating Web Sites.

1. Undress to your underwear (well, if you’re home, most likely you already are) and look in the mirror. If what you see ain’t Brad Pitt, Hugh Jackman or at least Daniel Craig – admit it that there will be girls who simply not going to like you. It ain’t exactly the end of the world, after all, you also don’t like warm beer or oatmeal cookies.

2. Take a few pictures of yourself. Don’t take pictures of you with your car, it’s like saying “Here’s where I have spent all my money for”. Don’t take pictures with someone else’s expensive car either – it would be like saying “Here’s where I would’ve put my money if I had them”, which is even worse. Make sure that none of your body parts isn’t significantly larger than the rest (yep, I am talking about that beer belly).

3. Put up your pictures in your dating profile. Also, it might make sense to fill your profile on a dating web site with information about yourself. Please, DO NOT specify the size of your male organ – no one would believe it anyway, and you really don’t want to date those stupid ones that would.

4. In case you actually have a sense of humor – don’t hide it, but tread carefully. I’ve seen cases when just two statements (Looking for long-term relationship and Looking for partners for orgy) have caused severe brain malfunction for at least one of the girls on dating web site, so she closed her profile and vanished in the great unknown.

5. If you picked a “romantic poet that is young at heart” type of image – it might work, of course, but those who would be interested in such image are usually either those skinny hairy girls who neglect the shower or really interested in the poetry too much that by the time you get to a real deal you’d be retired. But if it is your choice nonetheless, please choose faster, so you would stop stealing attention from real guys.

6. If a girl, in response to your first two sentences says you’re funny – she’s actually laughing at you.

7. If she’s too eager to embrace you from the get go – that’s a trap.

8. If she’s there once in a blue moon – she has a boyfriend (or husband, or a child) and just likes to mess around with people’s heads once in a while.

9. If she’s online from 9 to 5 – she’s definitely married, just bored at work.

10. If she’s online every single evening from 6 to 10 – you would have a hard time taking her out for a date, because while she’ll be wasting her time on you someone out there might snatch the guy that’s just right for her. And you know she just can’t let that happen!

11. If she’s online only from midnight to 3 or 4 am – she’s definitely from another country.

12. The most horrible thing is that you see her online on Friday or Saturday night. That means that whoever she’s dating had found something better. Do you need some other guy’s rejects?

13. If she wrote that your dating profile stole her heart this usually means there was no heart there in a first place.

14. If, after couple of meaningless exchanges she sends you a link to some other site – it’s a spamming robot. You don’t want it.

15. If the only picture she has in her profile was taken 15 years ago on a cell phone camera this means even she understands the ugly truth.

16. If the picture looks too good to be true – it probably is. If you suspect that the picture is done a bit too professionally, chances are that this is a professional bride.

17. If she has too many pictures with different men – maybe you’re in luck. Chances are all those guys are her friends but none of them are good enough for her, so that’s where you move in.

18. If her dating profile has a bunch of pictures like “me with girls in cafe/at the beach/in restaurant” and most of them are the same girls – be careful. She might find some spare time for you, but most likely you will end up paying for her and her friends, partying all the time without ever getting closer. Maybe (just maybe) one of her friends being really drunk will agree to a blow job, but won’t be able to perform anyway because she will fall asleep.

19. There’s a separate class of girls on any dating web site, I call them “talking questionnaires“. Even if she’s going to agree to devote her attention to you, for the next 30 to 40 minutes you are going to be answering your questions. Even longer, actually, if you really could remember what was the middle name of your kindergarten teacher, when your old uncle Joe fell down the stairs and how many stairs were there, what color was the first shoes you ever wore and so on. After you brave through all of the questions she will disappear for half an hour and only after your eleventh attempt to contact her will she reply that you’re great guy and someone somewhere out there might definitely like you. Just not her and not today. Tomorrow doesn’t look good either, you know.

20. There’s another class of beings that think that if one guy stood them up for a date that means all guys are pigs. And they go out there for revenge. They want blood, if only figuratively speaking. Anything you may say will be interpreted as a proof that you’re pig. If you won’t say anything they will interpret is as that you are such a big pig that you have un-learned how to talk.

21. There’s yet another class of… let’s say people… They are wives of rich guys who have abandoned them for a young secretary or better looking mistress. In pictures they look above average (meaning – hot enough for you to have a wet dream on a spot). They are in between 27 and 47, usually with one kid. They want someone to love them. Someone to appreciate them for who they are. Someone to marry and come to US and live happily ever after. But not right now, you need to get to know each other better. Just as you start uncovering one amazing thing after another you are surprised that she also likes that “find your own tree” moment, she LOVES Audrey Hepburn or some other stuff you happen to like. There’s one little problem though – the internet is expensive where she lives. It costs around $500/month and she had almost spent all her money for her child. And her shoes are old and torn on the side. And her child wants to go to the beach next month. And so on and so forth. If you look hard enough you even may find real pictures of these abandoned wives, but to much of a surprise they look nothing like the pictures they’ve sent, wear old torn sweaters, sneakers, glasses and beards, live with their parents in Eastern Europe and don’t really care about meeting you.

Tread carefully.

November 1, 2009

Thank You For Comments

After I have completed the whole eHarmony dating web site report (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, follow-up) I got a number of comments. Thank you for them, it was nice to see this work didn’t go unnoticed. Also, it was nice to see that there are many ladies among those who are reading this. Not sure why you are doing this, but thank you too!

Unfortunately most of these are the comments that I cannot display for a number of obvious reasons. One of them being that someone was disgruntled with eHarmony because that one guy was an asshole. It happens on any dating web site, not just eHarmony, therefore it’s a bit off the topic. Another was that quite a few of you commentators are posting real names of people who wronged you or your own names, which – for your own good – you should not be doing, unless you’re absolutely sure. And last, but not least, because the description of your experience was too detailed and that you might regret posting this in conjunction with your names in the future, but your comment would show up in Google’s cache – forever, even if this blog would be no more. So those of you who really think you want your issues discussed – let me know, I am giving you a couple of weeks of cooling off time.

Let me address the most talked about issue from comments. It wasn’t just two people who got hooked dating liars and gold diggers, there’s a huge chunk of you, guys, who get into dating or into relationship so blindly, you keep banging your head on the closed door of the next train, not even noticing that the first one left two days ago. I can understand teenagers doing that for hormonal reasons, but after you hit your twenties half a dozen times you should know better. Open your eyes, more importantly – open your ears! Listen to her – not only it’s a sure way to get closer and to keep her, it is also the best way to spot a liar or a gold digger.

Next dating issue on the list – someone wronged you and you run around posting that person’s name on every blog and forum about dating you can possibly google. Here’s a hint – stop whining. Dating is a game, there are winners and loosers and if you already came up on a short end of stick – you don’t really want the whole world to know, do you? Do you really think spending your time copy-pasting that rant across the internet will help you find that girl you are looking for? Or do you think the person who wronged you will crawl on all four into your apartment to give you an apology and a blowjob? I don’t think so. Just shut up and move on. Find someone hotter, smarter and better – to show that person and everyone else that you can do better.

To conclude – a little story. Well, maybe not really little, but I will keep it brief. There is this friend of mine, nice guy, athletic build, smart, stable – everything a decent girl wants. He is dreaming to get a very specific type of girl – approximately his age, slim, big breasts, redhead, smart and sexy. My take on that was – good luck with that, they’re all taken already. Imagine my surprise when he shows up with exactly that type of a girl. Damn smart, damn sexy and everything else is there. He wasted half a year and huge chunk of money dating her, but she didn’t even let him kiss her. My thoughts were – what a loser, not even a kiss in a half a year! He breaks up with her and in less then three months picks up another – redhead, hotter than fire, all is there and then there’s some. To my eyes – she looked hotter than his previous girl by leaps and bounds; he thinks exactly the same thing. For all I know – they are married for almost two years already, never been happier with each other. I happen to ask them if he ever told her about that girl he dated for half a year. To much of my surprise – not only he did, he asked why would someone do something like this. Her response was straight and to the point – “I am so lucky that stupid bitch didn’t know WHAT she had next to her”.

Please, stop grieving about someone who is that stupid. Go out and make someone happy.

October 28, 2009

The Approach Approach

There is a common misconception that if you surprise the girl you want to date with your sudden appearance (like jumping from around the corner) she will immediately recognize the best parts of your magnificent self. This inevitably will lead to her falling in love with you at first sight, dating you for as long as you like, marrying you and living happily ever after. Of course, I don’t have to explain why this is the as far from the truth as it can be. If you want to ask for date and get a date, not a slap on your face – read on.

A few days ago, on the bus, I met this absolutely gorgeous woman. She was the best a plastic surgery can do for a woman of a middle age. Tall, with stunning curvaceous body, large breasts, perfectly round tight ass, puffy lips, perfect facial features, bright blue eyes, light flawless skin – you know what I mean. We talked just a bit and one of the questions I asked was – how does she feel about the guys who approach her. Her answer wasn’t a surprise though – it was something I have already heard a number times over from hundreds of other girls.

She said she’s in her own inner world, paying little to no attention to things that go on outside. When someone approaches her, she actually has to make an effort to connect her world with our world and talk to that approached person. And after she’s done, she closes the door and gets back into the comfort of her own things. Therefore random people who approach her are sort of aliens to her – she watches them with childish amazement (I confirm that – it’s exactly how she looked at me throughout the whole conversation) and then sort of turns off the TV she’s watching.

Now, remember all those times when you were openly expressing an interest in some hot chicks out there and they barely noticed you. THEY ACTUALLY DIDN’T – but not because there’s something wrong with you, but because they are in the world of their own. Let me repeat that for the slowpokes – there is nothing wrong with you if that hot lady ignores you. She just isn’t mentally here at the moment.

Now back to our initial question on approaching and asking for a date. Knowing all this your job has just got a bit harder. But knowing this will definitely spare you from making a huge mistake, loosing a great date and on what truly could be your happily ever after.

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