looks Archives - Daily Log

January 5, 2010

Date You? Why Do You Think She Might Want To Date You?

Just yesterday one of my friends was telling me how she broke up with her live-in boyfriend on January 1st. Admit it, it happens. Just yesterday you were celebrating and kissing, and today she slammed the door in your face and went to live with her parents/friend or (even worse) her new boyfriend. Or it could have been you who slammed the door and told her to go somewhere else. Shit happens. Dating shit happens even more often. It doesn’t matter anymore just after the moment you broke up. You’re back to dating, back into the search mode.

Now, you back on the dating market, what should you do? 5 simple steps should help you out.

1. Forget your grievances. I know, it’s hard, but until you do – don’t even think of showing up on any dating web site. Women have this “seventh sense”, they feel when you just coming out of a bad relationship, so unless you’re looking for mother-son type of relationship (more on that later) – don’t!

2. Do your homework. Once you over the break up, think why your relationship failed, especially how you contributed to the failure. Speaking from experience, it’s best done during the next mentioned activity.

3. Hit the gym! Holidays are food, fun, food and some more food. Everyone knows it, but it doesn’t mean she will accept your “love handles, extraordinaire“. Get back to your gym, your diet, your running routine, whatever – just get back in shape ASAP. If you want the best, you must give out your best.

4. Don’t bring your old relationship into the new one. This may sound like #1 on the list, but I actually mean something else. Even after you get over the break up, you still will be trying to take things as they used to be. Maybe she will let you slide once after you say “My ex-girlfriend always made coffee in the morning”, but if it gets a bit too repetitive you may find making only one cup of coffee instead of two.

5. Dress up! Whatever your ex was telling you about the way she wanted you to dress – forget that for a moment and dress nice and appropriate. Maybe she liked that “bad boy” style, maybe she wanted to be seen with total geek – whatever her choice was, there is a little chance you will make exactly the same impression on all the other girls you are planning to meet. So dress up, just a notch above the line so she would take you seriously.

With Valentine’s Day only weeks away, you may want to straighten up your image and get to searching so that someone truly significant will feed you those cheesy strawberries with creme or chocolates in February. Good luck!

December 9, 2009

Dating Advice For Girls: What Do Guys See On A Date

Just recently I had a very interesting conversation with one young single lady. Her problem, as she described it, was that she kept picking wrong guys for herself. When I asked her with a question – why does it happen all the time, she said that good guys don’t want her, so she ends up with bad ones. So what do we, guys, essentially see in a woman on a date?

We see your body. Especially on a first date – this is the first thing we are paying attention to. Some like curves, some like slim shape, it doesn’t matter. What matters is – we look at how good you look. If you think you can impress us with your smarts and wits – be smart enough to shape up, dress up and put on your make up.
We see woman’s body language. We may not be able to read all the signs or read through, but if your eyes are drifting away all the time – we can spot it. If a woman is constantly checking her phone (or worse yet – her Blackberry) – we take note.
We see how other guys are looking at you. If no one is impressed – we don’t want it. Believe it or not – we do value peer review. So if other guys are looking at us with envy, or not even looking at us because they look at you – we made the right choice.
We pay attention to what you are saying. Men mostly are straightforward. If woman says she’d like pizza – we go and get some pizza for her and for us. Or take her to such place. We don’t see this as yet another puzzle that, when solved, should reveal the desire to be taken on a long night walk at the beach with some champagne, flowers and poems under the Moon. Really, you said pizza, didn’t you?
We pay attention to the difference between that picture in your dating profile and the real thing that just landed in the chair across from us. If the difference is too significant – we will run away. The more the difference the faster the speed. Want to manipulate men? Here’s your chance.
We see a desperate woman when she is desperate. Everyone hits a rough patch once in a while, the idea is not to lose control over yourself because of that. If you seem desperate – we see you as an easy target. Some may take advantage of that, but most men will likely pass you by. We are hunters, if prey falls from the sky into our hands – where’s the excitement? We move on immediately. If we feed on a healthy prey – we get better at hunting. Those who pick you up after us are scavengers. You don’t want them.
We understand that nobody is perfect. We may turn the blind eye to some of the shortcomings, but if there are too many – we can’t. Neither can you. As I have said – no one is perfect, no matter what your mom told you.
We don’t like to rush things, so we immediately see when women do. Picking up a good name for baby is good for 3rd month of pregnancy, not 3rd month of dating. Of course most women want marriage, children and the whole thing. But rushing us into it may just make us do the opposite. At one time there was a popular story when after a one-night stand guy wakes up with a girl next to him in his bed. And the first thing he hears is “and in that corner we will put baby’s cradle”.
Last, but not least. We see how you react to our faults. If a guy dropped a fork on the floor, or spilled wine on the table and all he hears is how clumsy he is – chances are that this is his last date with you. You can call him gazillion times – he will not go out with you again. He doesn’t need another mom telling him how to do simple things.

March 30, 2009

Christmas Story – A Second Date

(This is part 3. Click here for Part 2 or here for Part 1)

Next day (I was told it was Tuesday, since this couple had their first date on Monday, no less) brought some sort of sobering to the guy. The more he thought about last night date the more he realized that it was too good to be true indeed. He was, however, going to call that girl anyway – at around 1pm, lunch time, – just to make sure he shouldn’t be making any more plans about that fabulous chick. This lasted until about 11:55 am when his phone rang (vibrated, actually) and – there she was.

She didn’t forget to thank him for the date first. Then, immediately after that she started telling him about how important it is to trust a person you’re getting involved with, then something about forces of nature and so on. From 45 minutes of talking he only had a chance to speak for about 45 seconds. He was, however, kind of impressed by how passionately the girl was talking about it. If nothing else, it felt like she went through a lot and is just trying to make sure she won’t have to go through it again. They had a pleasant chit-chat saying good-byes though. Each promised to call each other tomorrow.

Next day, she got to call him first – again! He started suspecting something, but she charged ahead with the question is he a good cameraman and if he owns a video camera. He responded that he knows they exist, but he’s trying to familiarize himself with photo equipment first. She said it’s a damn shame, she wanted to shoot a porn movie tonight and they didn’t have a camera man. She suggested putting a few feathers in various places to play cowboys and Indians under the blankets, to spice up things.

When laughter ended, she said she obviously called to check if he has a sense of humor. He promised to show her the size of it on a third date if she has any plans for a second one. She replied that she just might. They talked about something else for about an hour (I wasn’t really taking notes when the guy described – word for word – what they did talk about), and ended up setting a second date up on Thursday night. Tentatively, so far, to be confirmed tomorrow.

Tomorrow came, the date got confirmed. He was to pick her up at about 11pm to go to some club. Now, to side step the story a little, I have to tell you that this guy has never been to a club – ever! So when he subscribed to go – he just hadn’t had any idea what he was getting himself into. Plain and simple – he was flying right into the eye of a disaster. But he went all in and said yes to that. On the other hand – I would also be very very hesitant to say no to someone with 36 DDD bra and 25 inch waistline.

Around 9pm it suddenly occured to him that it would be nice to grab a flower bouquet and something extra. Sure, she would only see it for about a minute or two before leaving, but! He messes up something at the club, she gets home upset, sees the flowers and fruits and (maybe) forgives him. Or so the thought goes. He went to a store nearby, bought some flowers and composed a bouquet himself – yellow and peach roses, green leaves, nice and simple. He also grabbed a few bags of fruits – peaches, apples, tangerines.

11:05pm he calls – she doesn’t pick up the phone. In fact – calls went straight to voicemail, which meant the phone is turned off! 11:15pm – phone is still off. 11:30pm – off. 11:55pm – off. 12:20am – off. 12:42am – she calls him! Not even knowing what to think now, he tells her very dryly that he needs to drop off something to her and be gone, as there will be obviously no date today. He drives to her house, brings her flowers and fruits (less a few apples he chewed on while calling her) and trying to leave. She comes up with story that her close friend had died a week ago and they only told her this evening, she cried and fell asleep only to wake up at 12:30am and realized she stood him up. Not believing a single word she said he gives her a chance to make it up tomorrow. She says she’ll be more than happy to, because she feels bad. After another 45 minutes or so talking and gentle hugging they’ve parted.

(To be continued)

December 15, 2008

Christmas Story – The Day They’ve Met

(This is part 2. Click here for Part 1)

She called him that same day, June 19th. They spent about an hour talking on the phone, exchanging pleasantries and growing interest in each other carefully. Each sensed something familiar, but couldn’t quite figure out what it was.

As it turned out – both were Gemini, only 4 years apart. Both liked to fool around as madmen, but both were working since out of school, so it wasn’t like they had an easy living on their parent’s nickel. They have set on a date – right next day – both agreeing that better off meeting as soon as possible and see whether it will work out. Why waste time on pointless bickering if they both know what they want and just need a chance to see if the other party was right – or not.

When she showed up from her apartment, freshly made up and dressed up and glowing with confidence he realized he doesn’t know any good restaurants he can take her to. Anything he knew wasn’t upscale enough to take such a glamorous girl to. It would be painfully, obviously out of place. However, since she, nevertheless, hopped into the car he decided to go with Plan B.

What’s a plan B you asked? So did I. Turns out Plan B is when you don’t take your date to the most expensive restaurant you know. Basically, it is an unspoken rule that the better looking girl you take on a date, the better (and more expensive) restaurant you take her to. However, chances always are that girl will be so beautiful that there will be no such restaurant that you know of. Or can afford. Either way – you drop to Plan B.

So where to did he took her then? To the small pastry cafe, where everything (but the food) sucks – service, waiters, even prices. What’s the reason? Playing on the contrast.

Turned out the decision was a major success. They weren’t bothered by the service or having to mind their manners all the time and were able to relax. Coffee, tea and couple of biscuits were more than enough food for two non-stop talking Geminis.

The date lasted for three and half hours (instead of 45 minutes he thought it would). They were flirting before they even knew it. She asked a waiter for fruit salad. Waiter said that the only fruits they had was strawberries with whipped cream. Waving her huge eyelashes at both her date and a waiter she said that strawberries and whipped cream aren’t exactly the first date meal, but she knows, however, that one can lead to another. Waiter, totally red (shifting into infra-red already), left hastily.

When she excused herself to the restroom, he looked around and realized there were quite a few spectators that have abandoned their own dates as they watched for the outcome of our couple’s date. Girls were checking the guy out weighting the chance to approach him while the girl was away. Guys started lining up closer to the restroom exit with hopes to get a closer look at the girl. With slim waistline and DDD-size bra cup filled with 100% natural contents she was an eye candy for anyone.

But as every other date, this one had to end. He took her home, putting on couple of finishing touches, like saying he enjoyed the date, gently tapping her wrist while saying he doesn’t feel like letting her go. They parted wishing each other a good night. He promised himself not to forget to call her tomorrow since she looked almost too good to be true and anyway too good a chance to miss.

October 8, 2008

A Letter From Disgruntled Looker

As you might have already guessed – we get a lot of mail. Not comments (strange), but plenty of e-mails asking, answering and suggesting.

Make no mistake – we read them all.

One e-mail, however, caught our attention – primarily because we share it’s point of view. Both – ladies and men, even some of our friends agreed with it. Yet, somehow, it still seems to be sort of an issue.

The letter talks about guys looking at girls on the street. Not teenagers or toddlers, we talking about a real world adults who look at each other – and get upset when some one looks at them. But let’s see what the actual letter has to say.

From: Disgruntled Looker
To: DontDateGuy
Subject: Why Are They Mad At Me?
First – let me make couple of points about myself. I am good looking, neatly dressed guy, who works in IT. I am not overweight (in fact – I excercise quite regularly), also take shower and brush my teeth at least once a day in the morning. I don’t have anyvisible defects to my face, body or posture. On any day there are hundrends like me on the street – some look better, many look worse, but if you not really paying attention – you probably would not spot me right-on.
That being said – what’s wrong with those ladies on the street? Almost any time they see me looking at them they cringe. If I let out a slight smile – they cringe even more. It’s almost like I am trying to get into their pants without even asking their name – and all I did was looked. What’s wrong with these ladies? I can’t be looking that bad to scare them off!
Aren’t they spend hours putting on make-up and doing their hair? Shopping for the best clothes out there that fit them perfectly? Aren’t they? If so – why do they protest if someone appreciates their efforts if only by looking?
Listen, ladies, let me put it this way. You don’t want to be noticed? You don’t want to be looked at with admiration and adoration? That’s fine with me. Just take off your make up, your lift-up bra, your semi-transparent clothes and your expensive shoes. Put on some dumb dress from “Everythign for $9.99” and some cheap flats. Don’t make an impression. Look average or ugly. Please. I have no problem with that. In fact – I don’t think anyone will have a problem with that.
However, if you made yourself into a queen of fashion or a new shiny star on the block and are walking down the street – don’t think that every penis carrying individual shoud just shut his eyes and pretend you aren’t there. We’re hunters, we notice flashy objects, good looking curves and attractive lines. Sorry, but if you are beautiful (or at least look like you are) – we will notice. We will look.
Or would you rather dress up nice – and no one would notice? Would you really honestly want that?

That’s where the letter ends. Honestly – we don’t know what to make out of it. To quote one of the very beautiful girls I know (and whom I have a chance to see every day): “This guy is damn right – I don’t understand those stupid bitches either. If I go out with my make up on and dressed up and in my shoes – I want men to notice. I want them to salivate every single inch of the way I will be passing them by. Otherwise I won’t feel like a married woman.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself.