Tag: advice

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A Word On Relationships

Since dating season is over, it’s time we shift a bit to the actual relationship advice. What to do when she finds your dirty socks on her dresser? How to act if she’s allergic to your favorite food? Where would her underware end up after rough steamy sex you had last night (hint – check your shoes)?

Today we’ll get to one important aspect that pretty much everyone dismisses. This aspect, however, is one of the major contributors to couples breakups. No, it isn’t the sex position – if you were thinking that. It’s the lack of attention.

Most guys think that once they got themselves a girlfriend, they are all set. They feel they can just sip a beer every night they don’t see their baby, have an hour-long chat over the phone and get it over with. Well, if you don’t need that girl with long black curly hair and size D breasts I’ll be happy to take her off of your hands. And so will a number of other guys.

Dating is not really over when you got that oral mutual exclusivity agreement. More so, now it gets tougher. Before you didn’t have to remember what colors she likes, what flowers she love, when’s her cousin’s birthday and how she likes her eggs or steak. Now it’s all your liability, so to say.

One of the major major mistakes is the guy’s thinking “She must be happy I am with her”. True, she might be, at the beginning. But after first three days that happiness wears out, so you have to be constantly reminding her why she must be happy. NOT because you said so. NOT because you want her to be. But because you make her feel good about herself, you and your relationship. It’s quite easy if you ask me, but most of us fail at this simple task.

I’ll make it even easier for you, guys – PAY ATTENTION. If you don’t want to keep it all in your head – put her and her relatives’ birthdays in your goddamn Blackberry. Make a notes entry under her name in your address book and put it all there – colors, flowers, steak, eggs – everything. This time when you go out with her – just consult your records and you’re good to go: you remembered the right things, she’s happy you remember these things and overall – your relationship is a happy one.

To wrap things up – I had these notes for all the girls I was dating. OnceI settled, I kept making notes about my current girlfriend. She happen to have a glance over my phone where I was reviewing some notes about her. When asked I just showed her my notes and admitted that I am not really good at remembering these things, but she’s important to me and I kept all these small items on file to avoid occasional embarrasment. First couple of seconds she looked puzzled (to me), but it turned out she was overwhelmingly surprised at how much effort I made to keep her happy. No need to say how much better she treated and respected me afterwards.

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Whoa, that was close!

Fat, Naked, Dangerous - DontDateGuy.com blogSorry guys, our web site just went down for almost half-hour. Looks like we haven’t allocated enough bandwidth for it, so the server has notified our good friends at Zealus Web Design that we have overstayed our welcome. Thanks to same good friends at Zealus – they persuaded the server to give us some more time!

On a same note, I’d like to make a little announcement. While we will continue to impress you with dating advice you can’t find anywhere else, we still need to make a couple of green paper presidents to maintain status quo. While I am NOT asking you to click on the only two advertising banners we have (see how good we are – we know you hate those ads), I would go ahead and give you something. That’s right, instead of asking – we are giving!

Within week we will post a donation button for this web site. Anyone donated any amount (no matter how large or small) will receive a copy of Dating Advice – 9 Dating Basics. That’s right, we’ve got four more chapters to this never-ending story all packed and ready to go.

Those of you who are, thanks to oncoming Valentine’s Day, short of money will not be left out! You will be able to receive a complementary (that means – FREE!) version of same eBook, called Dating Advice – 7 Dating Basics. Hey, we needed to give the paying folks something extra, right?

Think that’s all? You ain’t seen nothing yet! For specially generous donation (somewhere around $50 and up, depending on how generous you all are) we will review your personal photo for you! What the heck does this mean? Let me elaborate.

Valentine’s Day, while hyped as the most romantic holiday ever, is actually the worst! Most couples break up either on Valentine’s Day or right after (have you ever though that Valentine’s Day abbreviates to a VD, which means quite opposite?) And break ups occur because we, guys, give them, girls, lousy presents. By the way, stay tuned for a special section on our blog about gifts and presents – just in time for holidays.

So what’s the story with photo? Oh, that’s simple. You send us that special picture that you plan to use on the dating web site or in that e-mail to a girl you are tryiing to get. We review it and tell you why it suck (or what could be improved). Best submissions will be (with your permission, of course) featured on this web site. Oh, and don’t try to be funny! Our local cops told me they can establish identity by picture of almost any human organ, so keep that organ for a real deal. Be a man, don’t act like a kid.

SPECIAL PROMOTION for LADIES ONLY! We will review your picture absolutely free. But that’s not all. On the recent dating spree I personally befriended a very beautiful and oh-so professional make-up artist. If you be kind (and we know you will be – I can’t disappoint this girl on Valentine’s Day, right?) she will share tips and advice as to how to present yourself better, fix your make-up mistakes and give you personalized dating advice.

Wrapping up – stay tuned, get your hair and nails done (guys, you too!), and prepare to send in your pictures. We’re up for a lot of fun this year, we just have to share it all!

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Dating 101 – 5 dating basics. Part IV – Being A Gentleman

Lady and GentlemanIt is really hard to elaborate on how to be a gentleman. It’s rather easy to say what NOT to do. Don’t be an asshole. Don’t offend her. Don’t make sexual advances too early. Don’t tell her how good you are. Don’t brag about yourself. Oh, and constantly checking out how you look in a mirror is probably a bad idea too.

A lot of women complain that guys are so chatty about themselves on a first date, that it makes it next to impossible to interrupt such monologues. The key to a successful date is two-way communication, so both of you must speak out. Don’t get too inquisitive, but be naturally interested. The idea behind first date is to see if you physically attracted to each other, if you have anything in common to talk about and if there is any spark or chemistry between the two of you. Basically – do you want to see that person again? Would you be interested in talking to her (or him)? Would you want to “go all the way” – not because you want to stick it into everything that moves, but because you naturally want this specific woman?

Being a gentleman is a good thing for various reasons. Not last one of them is self-respect. You wouldn’t abuse a date by telling her something nasty, impolite – even if she fully deserves it. Just finish the date, get her home (or whatever your parting arrangements are) and move on. Don’t stop to say that her ass takes up whole driveway – even if it does. Believe me, you’ll feel better about yourself and that will lead you to getting a better date tomorrow.

Another reason for being a gentleman is that girls TALK! You never know who your last date knows – maybe she knows someone who’s a friend of your next crush. And her talking can make a huge difference with your new upcoming affair. So be careful what you say and don’t be a schmuck.

Being a gentleman also means telling no lies. Of course everyone wants to look better then they are – that’s why silicon implants got invented! However, there are two problems with lies – a) they get uncovered, and b) they get uncovered at the most inconvenient time possible. That is why I personally try not to BS my date. If she will be interested in me – lies can kill that in a single stroke. If she’s not interested in me because my car isn’t hot enough – I am not in her market anyway.

Last, but not least – being a gentleman also means getting out of your way to please. Women like attention, they have this special gland or something that measures men’s attention to her down to tiniest bits. So if you think she’s the woman you want – please that gland today like there is no tomorrow. That’s the only way to make sure that tomorrow will come.

And it just might belong to you!

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Dating 101 – 5 dating basics

Just to kick start the conversation, let’s go over basics. Sure, you’ve seen this a thousand times, but according to my reports from trusted sources around 75% of us, guys, forget at least one of them. So here’s the breakdown.

  1. Be confident on your date (read more about this here). It means that you have to be calm and respectful, but not acting aloof. Also, it doesn’t mean that you have to boast about yourself all the time. Let the girl speak, listen, ask questions. And no, you can’t ask “can we go to bed already?”, not unless you are on a date with hooker.
  2. Be on time (read more about this here). Girls don’t really want to wait, so unless she’s looking for a sugar daddy and you take your time deciding between Bugatti and Rolls-Royce – be on time. Bring your trusty smartphone or PDA (not your favorite porn magazine), because you will be waiting for at least 10 minutes. It’s very rare that the girl would show up on time (if she does – she’s either desperate or control freak, either case is very dangerous, beware!).
  3. Bring enough cash (read more about this here). You WILL BE PAYING FOR HER ON A DATE. Unless you are a dork, mama’s boy or plain old asshole – you will be paying for her on a date. If you want more then just a date – you will be paying for her on a date. If you want her to respect you – you will be paying for her from the beginning. Unless, of course, you are looking for sugar mommy. But then – you are reading the wrong blog. This is one of the main tricks girls like to play: when your waiter brings your check she may go for a wallet. This is a good moment to do two things. First – tell her (with confidence in your voice) that you will take care of that. Second – if her hands are close enough – try to cover her hand with yours. Oh, and try not to nail her little palm to the table – be gentle. It may not sound like much, but it will give you the necessary clues as to what she thinks of you. If she insists on paying no matter what – you’re out. If she takes her hand out from under yours too fast – bad sign. If she lets you pay and don’t immediately withdraw her hand – you’re on the right track, keep up the good job.
    (Note: a dinner for two in a nice restaurant in NYC, Brooklyn or Queens may run up to $150, so make sure you have something left afterwards. Also, be prepared and have couple of alternatives in case she’s a vegan, don’t like sushi or not into exotic food).
  4. No matter how good, bad or inadequate you think your date was – be a gentleman (read more about this here). Don’t say or do anything that may offend her. Wait until she’s in the cab, or in case you are driving her – make sure she enters her house/building. In New York boroughs it is considered a nice gesture to wait for lady to enter the building and shut the door behind her. Doors have plenty of glass for you to see that she’s safely inside. Again – doesn’t sound like much, but if your date wasn’t a total disaster it may give her a thought that you are a considerate man. If she already doesn’t think you’re a freak, that is. After she’s out of sight you can proceed to calling yourself a moron for telling that stupid story you thought was funny, spilled ketchup or whatever else we, guys, do on a sloppy dates.
  5. Call her next day and thank her for the time (read more about this here). Yes, she looked ten years older and twenty five pounds larger then her pictures on a dating site where you hit it off. Yes, she ordered the most expensive meal at the restaurant just to see how you will react. And yes, she didn’t let you kiss her goodbye when she left. Call her. You still may be surprised. My trusty sources tell me that by next day girl doesn’t remember half of your flops but will remember that you liked her sense of humor, her fluffy hair or how you opened the car door for her. Use it!
  6. BONUS! ONE MORE FREE DATING ADVICE! One more thing you absolutely must do on any date. Be generous – give her plenty of compliments. Even if she totally don’t deserve it – they cost you nothing at all. Don’t go into clothes unless you absolutely know what you are doing, but be inventive. If she spills coffee on the table say you too like to tell future by looking at coffee grounds.