A Word On Relationships

Since dating season is over, it’s time we shift a bit to the actual relationship advice. What to do when she finds your dirty socks on her dresser? How to act if she’s allergic to your favorite food? Where would her underware end up after rough steamy sex you had last night (hint – check your shoes)?

Today we’ll get to one important aspect that pretty much everyone dismisses. This aspect, however, is one of the major contributors to couples breakups. No, it isn’t the sex position – if you were thinking that. It’s the lack of attention.

Most guys think that once they got themselves a girlfriend, they are all set. They feel they can just sip a beer every night they don’t see their baby, have an hour-long chat over the phone and get it over with. Well, if you don’t need that girl with long black curly hair and size D breasts I’ll be happy to take her off of your hands. And so will a number of other guys.

Dating is not really over when you got that oral mutual exclusivity agreement. More so, now it gets tougher. Before you didn’t have to remember what colors she likes, what flowers she love, when’s her cousin’s birthday and how she likes her eggs or steak. Now it’s all your liability, so to say.

One of the major major mistakes is the guy’s thinking “She must be happy I am with her”. True, she might be, at the beginning. But after first three days that happiness wears out, so you have to be constantly reminding her why she must be happy. NOT because you said so. NOT because you want her to be. But because you make her feel good about herself, you and your relationship. It’s quite easy if you ask me, but most of us fail at this simple task.

I’ll make it even easier for you, guys – PAY ATTENTION. If you don’t want to keep it all in your head – put her and her relatives’ birthdays in your goddamn Blackberry. Make a notes entry under her name in your address book and put it all there – colors, flowers, steak, eggs – everything. This time when you go out with her – just consult your records and you’re good to go: you remembered the right things, she’s happy you remember these things and overall – your relationship is a happy one.

To wrap things up – I had these notes for all the girls I was dating. OnceI settled, I kept making notes about my current girlfriend. She happen to have a glance over my phone where I was reviewing some notes about her. When asked I just showed her my notes and admitted that I am not really good at remembering these things, but she’s important to me and I kept all these small items on file to avoid occasional embarrasment. First couple of seconds she looked puzzled (to me), but it turned out she was overwhelmingly surprised at how much effort I made to keep her happy. No need to say how much better she treated and respected me afterwards.

Dating In Pictures

(This post have been intentionally left without the pictures. Think of one yourself.)

It’s year 2008 and there’s no need to remind you that almost all communications are now online. There’s also a great chance that you are trying to find your dates on the internet, on one of numerous dating web sites. That – or rather pictures on those profiles – would be the focus of our attention here.

The most common mistake almost everyone seems to make is taking a picture with something that should translate a “subliminal” message. Guys take their pictures with their supposedly hot car in the background, while girls prefer to lean heavily on party or travel photographs. Let’s look at these cases a little closer.

There’s nothing wrong in posting you picture in or around your car – IF YOU DESIGNED THE CAR YOURSELF! Otherwise the message you’re sending is basically “I am so fat/ugly/dumb that I had to put my car into the picture to make the photograph worth looking at“. Think about it for a moment. Unless you are on a hunt for a gold digger the expensive car in the background doesn’t really add anything to your profile. By the same rationale you might have took picture with your neighbour’s car, so if you think you project an image of a wealthy individual – you’re wrong.

Same kind of thought process should be applied to the pictures from parties. Just think there for a moment: if you post your pictures from your friend’s bachelor partwhere you’re surrounded with at least three almost naked strippers – you’re saying that you are unable to be in a serious relationship. If you have that macho look with a bottle of beer in your hand – it means that’s pretty much what you want to do in life. If you pose semi-naked showing off your muscles it means there’s nothing else about you but those muscles. Good for a one-night stand, but nothing more. Picture of you and similarly drunk friends – well, you got the idea.

So what’s a good pciture? Honestly – I don’t know. The picture I had on my dating profile that won me the hottest girl that was around wasn’t of a good quality. It showed me from shoulders up, the naked shoulder muscles were out, with one of my cats sitting on my hand. I wasn’t quite shaved and had a regular inquisitive look on my face. As I have found out what girls thought was something like “Well, this guy is strong – look at those muscles – but has a tender side to him, since he’s holding a cat just like he would have held a baby. Let me give him a try…” Can’t say how close to the truth all this is, after all – this was said on a date in order to get me interested, but I think you got the drift.

Of course, the picture alone won’t give you a perfect date, as it has to be YOUR picture. You also should think about what you say or write. And good luck with dating, the season is long open.