One thing I forgot to share about the profile without pictures was that there was about a hundred of closed communications (that is when eHarmony sends you “check out this match” and you decide to close it for whatever reason), with the sole reason of profile missing the pictures.
This is important. In fact, this is the most important thing ever. eHarmony pitches itself as a service that matches you on a zillion levels through their overly complicated and annoying questionnaire process. However, think of it this way – if you have decided to bite the bullet and pay for matchmaking service, you want to get your money’s worth. Without an excellent picture in your dating profile you are wasting your money. Was that the idea? Hardly.
No matter how many questions you answer and how carefully eHarmony’s algorithm will be picking your matches, if your potential soul mate will see a garbled picture with someone wear something flashy shot against some kind of car – you pretty much making sure they won’t be interested. Imagine the girl of your dreams passing by because you yourself didn’t make any effort to make the connection.
One good thing about eHarmony is that even after another party has decided to close the connection, you still have a “grace shot” at it, sending your kind of closing message. After I have posted pictures to my profile I went through most of closed communications and shot back with “I have uploaded the pictures”. I bet only about 10 – 20% of ladies will give it another look. Just think about the rest of them and how much you are missing by simply being a lazy ass and not posting your pictures.
Remember: before you can get to her ears you need to please her eyes. Regardless of how many questions eHarmony will have you answer, not a single one of them makes you closer with your match.
Since we have suggested a number of dating web sites on this blog, I have personally decided to bite the bullet and went undercover into some of the web sites we have listed – and some we have not. First hand report – read below.
First dating web site I went to was eHarmony – since they are the most advertised, or rather, were the most advertised when I was signing up. For full 2 months I kept my profile without any pictures – the matches were pouring in no matter what. I even started a conversation with some lady. I didn’t feel bad – 80% of matched profiles were without pictures as well. Of course it’s important to match on those hundreds of factors, but if there’s no picture – still, I’m not a game. I am, therefore, suprised that about 10% of matches did start some sort of communication. They must be either terminally naive or dead desperate. Judging by pictures of a few who had them – second reason makes incredibly more sense.
Overall, the picture scene on eHarmony puzzles me to no extent. A lot of good looking ladies have their pictures with good looking men – without any explanations whatsoever. I mean – this could be brother, uncle or gay friend – I couldn’t care less, but if you post a picture of yourself hanging off the neck of another guy – there better be an explanation of that. Sometimes there are two or even three guys who freely hug the lady. I have no objection to that in porn movies, but on a dating web site that pitches itself as a source for matching people for long term relationships… I don’t know.
Now to those party shots. I understand – you want to look sociable, friendly and nice. But if you’re the only one who’s looking 45 in the picture named “Me and my classmates from college” and your profile age is well under 40s – maybe you should reconsider the pictures you’re posting. Same goes for those pictures with bunch of drunken people in it – you’re not telling me you are sociable, you are telling me you hang out with drunks.
And last, on the topic of pictures, if you are paying money to find a match – shouldn’t you be a little more concerned with how you look in the picture? Invest an hour of your time as well, do your make up (or shave), brush your hair (if you have it), ask a friend to hold on to your point-n-shoot camera – look presentable.
As a second part of my research I have uploaded two pictures that in essence – similar to those that appear on user’s profiles. Third part, as you might imagine – uploading NORMAL pictures and measuring the difference. My prediction, based on current experience with eHarmony – it will not make any difference whatsoever. Why? Stay tuned.
After you are done reading our e-book that is due February 14th, right on Valentine’s Day (yep, it’s a gift!) you may ask yourself how come you didn’t think about this earlier. True, most of this is pretty obvious. However, problem remains the same — 8 out of 10 guys will fail at least at one of this basic things. Your task now is to leap ahead of them by doing this right.
In order to maintain a positive outlook you must show that you are respecting yourself. You come in clean clothes. You come on time. You give her a nice compliment. You take her to a nice clean place. You pay for her. You call her next day.
Let me share one little secret here, in this book. The most asked question after a person reads this book is — how do I start on a right track? Can you help me fix my dating issues and improve my dating experience. Well… yes, WE CAN HELP YOU!
Here’s SHORT and CONCISE guide to IMPROVE YOUR DATING EXPERIENCE:
Read this blog and ask questions. The response would be better if you will leave your questions with the post that is related to your issue. If there is no such post — leave your question with the last published post.
If you want to GET ON A RIGHT DATING TRACK — get yourself a brand new profile. For your convenience I have compiled a list of dating web sites where you get post your profile. The REGISTRATION IS FREE, so don’t wait.
Why get a new profile? Well, that’s simple — profiles on dating sites deteriorate. They get tainted with feeling of failure. It is very hard to start afresh if you keep looking at all the messages you have sent and never got any response. Stare at that hottie with whom you chatted for two months but she never gave you her phone number. That’s depressing.
But don’t delete your old profile yet! Use it smart — before writing to someone or responding to someone — check it if you have already talked to that person. Try a different approach, use different words, don’t fall for the same trick. Just don’t tell her you are that looser.