My very first girl (don’t laugh!) was a cute 6-year old. I was a 6-year old cute boy then, so there wasn’t anything illegal involved. However, being a shy guy I still am, I managed to enjoy a continuous kissing sessions behind some abandoned building. She was, of course, against it, but I was damn persuasive. Besides, we all wanted to know what it feels like and why all those men and women on TV made such a big fuzz about it. Remember, we were 6, we had no idea what the hell the porn is.
Must admit – it doesn’t sound like much and it wasn’t much then. But now come to think of it – I was the earliest among my peers to start dating and actually got to a second base. She bragged about it even more then I did. We were heroes.
We didn’t even break up. Her parents moved to another part of town, so she went to a different kindergarten. Short story.
There was this girl I was dreaming about. She had beautiful golden hair streaming all the way to her waist, striking personality and F-sized breasts that made me weak in my knees. She said she was a witch. I didn’t believe her, but agreed with almost everything she said. You know how the guys are. When you are in a large company of friends it’s hard to break the routine and become something more then friends. And if it didn’t work out there’s a whole bunch of other issues you’re facing.
One day we were at her and her roommate’s apartment. She was telling us about the New Orleans’ Mardi Gras, where girls flash their boobs and get bead strings for each time they did it. I was dying to get there and see how it all will turn out. So I started asking questions, like if you can drink openly in New Orleans or do you have to flash cops so they would let you go with your beer; or does that flashing considered an improper public behavior or charity work – you know, those kinds of questions when you are trying to mask your genuine interest with funny stuff.
Turned out, when she was there she almost was announced a queen of some sort at Mardi Gras – given that she was 19 at that time and the size I mentioned above – it was bound to happen. We all talked some more about going to New Orleans, especially at the time when Mardi Gras starts (or ends – I didn’t really care at that moment) and have fun. I went into asking some more questions and, I think, that sort of gave me away.
She looked at me a little puzzled, then, like if she got the idea, she went into another room. Couple of minutes later she showed up with a thick bunch of those cheap beads they throw to women in New Orleans. She started giving them away. She gave me a couple of them and said that one day she would want those back, for same reason she got them the first time.
The eBook on how to avoid dating mistakes is almost ready. But before I will offer it to the general public, it needs to be proofread, so give me some more time on that.
Starting today we open a new category of posts in our blog – memoirs. We didn’t really think about this for long, since people who we talk to on a regular basis supply a constant stream of these stories. So, for your entertainment and pleasure, or for contemplation and awareness (whichever comes first) we present you the new section of our web site – memoirs.
People will do almost anything to lose weight. While the most logical, sustainable means of doing so hasn’t really changed — eat less and exercise every day it seems there are a host of new and outlandish methods to lose those love handles. Digg points us to the article on DivineCaroline, that describes ten deceitful diets.
Speaking from experience, there is no easy way to loose pounds. Just forget it, it will never happen. Sure, you may get a “magic pill” to burn all those extra inches of fat, but the problem is – once you stop eating those pills, the weight is back. And – in full force. So the only proper way to get rid of your overweight is to go natural.
Start today, while it is still January. By the dating/mating season (April-May) you will be able to achieve a presentable shape.
Sorry guys, our web site just went down for almost half-hour. Looks like we haven’t allocated enough bandwidth for it, so the server has notified our good friends at Zealus Web Design that we have overstayed our welcome. Thanks to same good friends at Zealus – they persuaded the server to give us some more time!
On a same note, I’d like to make a little announcement. While we will continue to impress you with dating advice you can’t find anywhere else, we still need to make a couple of green paper presidents to maintain status quo. While I am NOT asking you to click on the only two advertising banners we have (see how good we are – we know you hate those ads), I would go ahead and give you something. That’s right, instead of asking – we are giving!
Within week we will post a donation button for this web site. Anyone donated any amount (no matter how large or small) will receive a copy of Dating Advice – 9 Dating Basics. That’s right, we’ve got four more chapters to this never-ending story all packed and ready to go.
Those of you who are, thanks to oncoming Valentine’s Day, short of money will not be left out! You will be able to receive a complementary (that means – FREE!) version of same eBook, called Dating Advice – 7 Dating Basics. Hey, we needed to give the paying folks something extra, right?
Think that’s all? You ain’t seen nothing yet! For specially generous donation (somewhere around $50 and up, depending on how generous you all are) we will review your personal photo for you! What the heck does this mean? Let me elaborate.
Valentine’s Day, while hyped as the most romantic holiday ever, is actually the worst! Most couples break up either on Valentine’s Day or right after (have you ever though that Valentine’s Day abbreviates to a VD, which means quite opposite?) And break ups occur because we, guys, give them, girls, lousy presents. By the way, stay tuned for a special section on our blog about gifts and presents – just in time for holidays.
So what’s the story with photo? Oh, that’s simple. You send us that special picture that you plan to use on the dating web site or in that e-mail to a girl you are tryiing to get. We review it and tell you why it suck (or what could be improved). Best submissions will be (with your permission, of course) featured on this web site. Oh, and don’t try to be funny! Our local cops told me they can establish identity by picture of almost any human organ, so keep that organ for a real deal. Be a man, don’t act like a kid.
SPECIAL PROMOTION for LADIES ONLY! We will review your picture absolutely free. But that’s not all. On the recent dating spree I personally befriended a very beautiful and oh-so professional make-up artist. If you be kind (and we know you will be – I can’t disappoint this girl on Valentine’s Day, right?) she will share tips and advice as to how to present yourself better, fix your make-up mistakes and give you personalized dating advice.
Wrapping up – stay tuned, get your hair and nails done (guys, you too!), and prepare to send in your pictures. We’re up for a lot of fun this year, we just have to share it all!
You hook up with this great guy or gal. You exchange your phone numbers, you called each other couple of times. You set up a date. Ten minutes before the Hour H he called and said he has an emergency meeting. Or she called and said her mom got sick. You reschedule for tomorrow.
Tomorrow you get yourself ready, but 15 minutes before date he calls and says there’s an emergency at work and he needs to be there ASAP. Or she calls and says that her best friend got into car accident and she has to be there for her. You reschedule for next week.
Next week… well, you’ve got the idea. You are puzzled, because you still haven’t been on a single date with the person, so why all the avoidance? The answer is simple – the person you are trying to date is unavailable and this is exactly how such unavailability looks like in real life. The person could be married, or have a full-time girlfriend, or engaged, or… well, whatever. Point is – they play this game for either of two reasons: a) they need some excitement, and b) they want to see other people but can’t. Mainly because their other half wouldn’t let them.
Getting stood up because your date isn’t honest with you isn’t a pretty sight. Some ladies suggest that you keep couple of opportunities open for any night. If one of them failed, you can always roll back to another. Since you are not into anything serious yet, there is a high chance it will make sense. Also, there is nothing wrong with this, since this will boost your self-esteem and will just make you feel good.
Of course, if you really like the person, you’ve been on more then three dates with him or her and really want to show it – you wouldn’t do anything like this. On the contrary, offer your help, a lift to a place or a hand to help. Never worked for me though, but you may just be a little luckier.
This is the final part of Dating 101 – 5 dating basics. This time we are talking about calling the next day. Basically, the only reason for not calling next day is if the date was abruptly ended for some reason – like you call her “stupid bitch” or she calling you a “racist asshole”. If you parted on good terms – there is no reason for not calling.
The outcome of the date can be expressed in binary terms – either zero or one, TRUE or FALSE. In simple words – do you want a second date – yes or no? If yes – call her and say so. If no – call her, thank her and don’t ask for a second date. This is still a part of the routine to build your self-confidence and be a gentleman. So even if you won’t see her anymore – you have no idea who she might talk to. And believe me, there’s a difference for that hot chick with firm body you’ll have a chance to talk to next month – if her friend would say her date with you was “interesting, but we just didn’t click” or if she would say “he’s a schmuck who didn’t even call me next day to say thank you”. We all know the value of a good reference. This is the occasion to value it even more.
Since this is the last part of the Dating 101, let me venture on a little personal story path. There was this cute girl I went out once but we didn’t really click. Although the intellectual level was certainly there, the emotional wasn’t quite on par with what I was looking for. We had quite a good time at City Crab restaurant, waitress was certainly sure that we were heading straight for that Big Day, but – it just didn’t work. What happened next was something I would expect from a plot of a porn movie, not from my date.
Next day, when I called her, she said she felt that we didn’t quite connect emotionally. She said it was her fault. She said she didn’t want to go into that too deep, but there is this guy she feels attached to. He went on a long trip to Alaska. She’s not sure if they split for good or not. That’s okay, I said. Then she said that she really liked me and my attitude and behavior. And that she had this friend, who broke up with her boyfriend couple of months ago and is looking to start something serious. And while she herself is not really available she can pass my phone number to that friend and she will call me. She’s a nice girl, into dancing and theater, works in some major financial company, very sweet person.
To say that I was amazed is to underwhelm the situation. Dream come true. Call her the next day. You never know.
It is really hard to elaborate on how to be a gentleman. It’s rather easy to say what NOT to do. Don’t be an asshole. Don’t offend her. Don’t make sexual advances too early. Don’t tell her how good you are. Don’t brag about yourself. Oh, and constantly checking out how you look in a mirror is probably a bad idea too.
A lot of women complain that guys are so chatty about themselves on a first date, that it makes it next to impossible to interrupt such monologues. The key to a successful date is two-way communication, so both of you must speak out. Don’t get too inquisitive, but be naturally interested. The idea behind first date is to see if you physically attracted to each other, if you have anything in common to talk about and if there is any spark or chemistry between the two of you. Basically – do you want to see that person again? Would you be interested in talking to her (or him)? Would you want to “go all the way” – not because you want to stick it into everything that moves, but because you naturally want this specific woman?
Being a gentleman is a good thing for various reasons. Not last one of them is self-respect. You wouldn’t abuse a date by telling her something nasty, impolite – even if she fully deserves it. Just finish the date, get her home (or whatever your parting arrangements are) and move on. Don’t stop to say that her ass takes up whole driveway – even if it does. Believe me, you’ll feel better about yourself and that will lead you to getting a better date tomorrow.
Another reason for being a gentleman is that girls TALK! You never know who your last date knows – maybe she knows someone who’s a friend of your next crush. And her talking can make a huge difference with your new upcoming affair. So be careful what you say and don’t be a schmuck.
Being a gentleman also means telling no lies. Of course everyone wants to look better then they are – that’s why silicon implants got invented! However, there are two problems with lies – a) they get uncovered, and b) they get uncovered at the most inconvenient time possible. That is why I personally try not to BS my date. If she will be interested in me – lies can kill that in a single stroke. If she’s not interested in me because my car isn’t hot enough – I am not in her market anyway.
Last, but not least – being a gentleman also means getting out of your way to please. Women like attention, they have this special gland or something that measures men’s attention to her down to tiniest bits. So if you think she’s the woman you want – please that gland today like there is no tomorrow. That’s the only way to make sure that tomorrow will come.
This is the third article on dating 101 -dating basics. And part III is all about the money.
When you paying for a lady at the restaurant – you not really impressing her with amount of money you are able to spend (remember – there is always a bigger fish). Paying for the lady is viewed by many girls as a privilege (as one of my female friends put it on her lousy date – “You haven’t earned the right to pay for me yet. And hardly will.”) It doesn’t mean you have to drive the date down if you don’t want to pay. Girl may ask if you need help with a bill, she may even dive into her bag for the money. Don’t be fooled – she doesn’t want to pay. She’s testing you. If you have any intent to continue to see that woman again in your life and not get spit in your face – you must pay for her.
This is a very touchy subject, but it has to be cleared out. The reason why you, the guy, must pick the place for a date is because you know your budget. Don’t spend all your money on a first date (you may do well on a date, there will be a second, but oops… you are out of money). Mind your budget, pick something that will not break your bank. Sure, if you are not a teenager then McDonalds and Wendy’s are out of the question. Check Zagat or Citysearch, make sure the you have a backup plan or call in advance and make a reservation. It is the attention that matters, not the amount of money nor the scale of the restaurant. One of my best dates happened in a very inexpensive local cafe, where the distraction of environment was minimal – we didn’t have to mind forks and knives so we had full attention to ourselves. The result was much more then I anticipated.
Speaking of location – once you picked the place make sure you can afford most expensive dishes on the menu. Some girls like to order the most expensive thing out there just to see how you would react. The decision is up to you, but if I see a girl ordering the most expensive meal on the menu – that’s her last date with me. First date is not about food, razzle-dazzle and how much money I can spend on her. The first date is all about first impression. I’ve heard of a guy who would borrow friend’s old beaten Buick to go on a first date with a girl while leaving his Porsche in the garage.
To sum things up – pick a known place or a place you think she would like. Make sure you can pay for both and don’t let her provoke you in any way. That, actually, is a way to prove you have self-confidence, show her that you are cool. That’s what can win you those brownie points and get you ahead of the competition.
