Dating In Pictures

(This post have been intentionally left without the pictures. Think of one yourself.)

It’s year 2008 and there’s no need to remind you that almost all communications are now online. There’s also a great chance that you are trying to find your dates on the internet, on one of numerous dating web sites. That – or rather pictures on those profiles – would be the focus of our attention here.

The most common mistake almost everyone seems to make is taking a picture with something that should translate a “subliminal” message. Guys take their pictures with their supposedly hot car in the background, while girls prefer to lean heavily on party or travel photographs. Let’s look at these cases a little closer.

There’s nothing wrong in posting you picture in or around your car – IF YOU DESIGNED THE CAR YOURSELF! Otherwise the message you’re sending is basically “I am so fat/ugly/dumb that I had to put my car into the picture to make the photograph worth looking at“. Think about it for a moment. Unless you are on a hunt for a gold digger the expensive car in the background doesn’t really add anything to your profile. By the same rationale you might have took picture with your neighbour’s car, so if you think you project an image of a wealthy individual – you’re wrong.

Same kind of thought process should be applied to the pictures from parties. Just think there for a moment: if you post your pictures from your friend’s bachelor partwhere you’re surrounded with at least three almost naked strippers – you’re saying that you are unable to be in a serious relationship. If you have that macho look with a bottle of beer in your hand – it means that’s pretty much what you want to do in life. If you pose semi-naked showing off your muscles it means there’s nothing else about you but those muscles. Good for a one-night stand, but nothing more. Picture of you and similarly drunk friends – well, you got the idea.

So what’s a good pciture? Honestly – I don’t know. The picture I had on my dating profile that won me the hottest girl that was around wasn’t of a good quality. It showed me from shoulders up, the naked shoulder muscles were out, with one of my cats sitting on my hand. I wasn’t quite shaved and had a regular inquisitive look on my face. As I have found out what girls thought was something like “Well, this guy is strong – look at those muscles – but has a tender side to him, since he’s holding a cat just like he would have held a baby. Let me give him a try…” Can’t say how close to the truth all this is, after all – this was said on a date in order to get me interested, but I think you got the drift.

Of course, the picture alone won’t give you a perfect date, as it has to be YOUR picture. You also should think about what you say or write. And good luck with dating, the season is long open.

Picking Up A Place For Date

Whenever you decide that you and your date are ready to go for something more then just couple of drinks, there’s always a dilemma as to which restaurant to choose. Pick something too simple – and she won’t be impressed. Pick something too fancy – and she’ll literally eat all your money out. Pick something too loud and you won’t be able to chit-chat. Pick something too quiet – and you won’t be able to make her laugh as hard as she can.

Although people don’t really put much thought to where to have that important second or third date, it is indeed makes sense to plan ahead. If your lunch budget just couple of lines below budget of some third-world country then you can skip next couple of paragraphs. The rest of you – read on.

First of all – make sure you can afford a full dinner at the restaurant of your choice. You don’t know that girl yet, so if she turns out to be a gold-digger or just a bitch who always orders the most expensive item on the menu – you have to have your bases covered. After all, there will be some other girl who you would want to bring here, so no reason of making a wrong impression on the staff. Second – make sure you have a backup, especially if your first choice is either an ethnic or theme restaurant; make sure the backup falls in the same pricing niche as your first choice. If your date can’t eat curry that puts away a lot of Indian and Thai places, so have some Italian or Greek spot handy. Third – make sure the restaurant of your choice takes the credit cards that you have (or you carry enough cash). It could be embarassing if they only take AmEx and all you have is Visa or MC.

It usually helps if you’ve been to the place before (unless both you and your date are food adventurers). Not so much to avoid surprises, but to have situation under control. Maybe recommend something, or ask the waiter for something that is tasty but hidden from the menu. I pull this trick on one dessert at some Japanese place – ladies almost scream in extasy after tasting that dessert, although it’s next to impossible to find it in the menu and it’s almost always sold out by the regular “dating time”.

Most importantly – know the attire for the restaurant. You want to “fall in” with the crowd around you, not so much for yourself, but for your date. Remember, women are much more conscious about how they look, so if she’s uncomfortable – it will be your fault that you brought her here. Your date may be jeopardized right from the start. So mention the place (unless it’s a surprise) and if she’s not familiar – tell her what you are wearing (or plan to wear), so she would get a clue as to what to put on herself. You’ll score more brownie points by being considerate which you (hopefully) will be able to redeem later.

Put Away That Viagra, Food Is To The Resque

Healthy Eating To The Resque - Dating Advice BlogIt’s about time we started talking about healthy eating. Just keep in mind – all those “two salad leaves a day” diets will get you thinner, but at what cost? No sex? No way! In order to perform well both men and women alike need to eat healthy and have enough energy to enjoy their relationship to the fullest extent. Enter ethnic foods.

Everybody knows that american food is fattening, italian food is heavy and cuban food is hot spicy. What almost everyone seem to miss is that food plays major role in your sex life. Eating right is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. Let’s look at just one example.

Let’s say you are regularly having a heavy meal late evening chances are – your sex life isn’t at its fullest. However, if you LIKE to have heavy meals in late evening – just change the diet. Instead of sandwiches or pasta or pizza – try to eat something that would benefit you better. From Russian food assortment you can take pelmeni with sour cream. Add your favorite beer. Don’t overeat though, it’s very easy to consume so much of this tasty stuff that you won’t be able to lift yourself from the table. Sounds heavy? Watch what happens afterwards, how long you will last and what your girlfriend or wife would say next morning.

Why don’t we look at it a little closer. Pelmeni contain proteins and good carbs, sour cream contains vitamins and fats, beer contains yeast and alcohol. Every major component of healthy eating is there (and some more!), plus you are getting a good workout after it, so you suppose to burn the majority of calories from fat and carbs.

If you don’t like Russian cuisine – try Cuban, Thai, Indian or whatever else you like. Just make sure it’s not only tasty and fulfilling, but also benefits your relationship.

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Give Me A Little Love

Sculpture of August Rodin The Kiss - Dating Advice Blog Sometimes people around you give you the most interesting discussion subjects. Or, maybe, it is so because we tend to listen to them the most. In any case, let’s talk about things like sharing, giving and receiving.

It all started with a person who is very close to me and is my close friend being very depressed. After we went through the routine of “What’s going on? – Nothing, I’m just depressed” Q & A, we stopped for a moment to catch a breath. Then, slower, we proceeded to uncover the real state of things.

It turned out that she was depressed simply because everyone else is either too annoying, too arrogant or seem not to notice her. Sometimes she would come up to someone with a question and the person would turn around like she’s not there. Or people would look at her like she’s the enemy of the state. Or refuse to do anything she asks – for no apparent reason. Then it dawned on me – I remembered I was in just the same situation at one point of my life.

All those people are not disliking you – I said. If right after encountering you someone would come up to them and ask if they remember who they just talk to – they would’ve probably just shrugged. The reason is simple – you don’t generate sympathy. You generate annoyance, arrogance, fear, hatred, they feel that Dark Side is strong with you or whatever else. Point is – they don’t feel sympathy. That is why they ignore you, give you those cold looks and so on. They feel your unhappiness and they try to avoid it at all cost. Most of the time they do it unconsciously.

But what do I do? – she asked. Well, – I said – it’s simple. Whenever you come up in the morning – look in the mirror and say you like what you see. If you have a nice smile – smile to yourself like it’s a pretty stranger you want to get. Whenever you approach someone – try to be positive, feel good about that person and generate sympathy. It will be hard at the beginning, but it will get better over time. Sometimes the person you will be talking to is going to be the most annoying person in the world, ugly as hell and stupid as a tree. Still, try to feel a little sympathy towards that person and I promise you – you will be rewarded tenfold.

I realize she may not be happy with my answer, since it doesn’t provide an immediate rectification to the problem. But it does give a solution, one that will work as soon as the next encounter happens.

Now, some of you may ask – what does all this has to do with dating? If it isn’t clear enough – I’ll explain. Whenever you go on a date – ESPECIALLY FIRST DATE – that’s how your counterpart will know what kind of person you are. You may have the best shoes, jeans and shirt in the world, or you may have the prettiest natural boobs that make Victoria Secret models cry, but if you generate those “bad vibrations” – your date will never notice how cute, smart or lovely you are. On the other hand – I’ve personally witnessed a DATE GONE PERFECT because both people were generating sympathy and good emotions towards everyone around them and what started as an encounter of two strangers just two hours later was a conversation between two closest people on Earth.

Back From The Crusades

The blog is back from the long and unwanted silence. Frankly, I didn’t expect to vanish for such a long period, but finally all perils are over.

If anyone’s interested in purchasing the “9 Dating Basics” book – let me know in comments and it will be arranged.

If you have stories to tell, leave a shout in comments as well and we’ll get them published with comments from our dating advisors and guys and gals like you and me. Trust me, it will be fun.

More about dating advice – we’re all the way in the dating season, so stay tuned for more dating stories and more fun.

P.S. This blog it up next for software update, so if something isn’t working – DON’T PANIC!

How To Get On The Right Track

After you are done reading our e-book that is due February 14th, right on Valentine’s Day (yep, it’s a gift!) you may ask yourself how come you didn’t think about this earlier. True, most of this is pretty obvious. However, problem remains the same — 8 out of 10 guys will fail at least at one of this basic things. Your task now is to leap ahead of them by doing this right.

In order to maintain a positive outlook you must show that you are respecting yourself. You come in clean clothes. You come on time. You give her a nice compliment. You take her to a nice clean place. You pay for her. You call her next day.

Let me share one little secret here, in this book. The most asked question after a person reads this book is — how do I start on a right track? Can you help me fix my dating issues and improve my dating experience. Well… yes, WE CAN HELP YOU!

Here’s SHORT and CONCISE guide to IMPROVE YOUR DATING EXPERIENCE:

  1. Subscribe to RSS or e-mail updates at this blog
  2. Read this blog and ask questions. The response would be better if you will leave your questions with the post that is related to your issue. If there is no such post — leave your question with the last published post.
  3. If you want to GET ON A RIGHT DATING TRACK — get yourself a brand new profile. For your convenience I have compiled a list of dating web sites where you get post your profile. The REGISTRATION IS FREE, so don’t wait.

Why get a new profile? Well, that’s simple — profiles on dating sites deteriorate. They get tainted with feeling of failure. It is very hard to start afresh if you keep looking at all the messages you have sent and never got any response. Stare at that hottie with whom you chatted for two months but she never gave you her phone number. That’s depressing.

But don’t delete your old profile yet! Use it smart — before writing to someone or responding to someone — check it if you have already talked to that person. Try a different approach, use different words, don’t fall for the same trick. Just don’t tell her you are that looser.

Unbreaking Promises

The eBook I was talking about before is under major editing. We have received an enormous amount of response from fellow bloggers and writers who address dating and starting a relationship in their works. I don’t like to talk about deadlines (because this means I have to keep them), but currently we set to publish the eBook on March 1st. Although it is a bit late for Valentine’s Day, we still believe it’ll be more then handy after.

As you all know the DATING SEASON starts right after Valentine’s Day, so don’t miss our dating advice book, packed with dating wisdom from dating gurus, relationship doctors and regular folk like me and you. Just imagine – a bunch of dating professionals helping you start your relationship on a right foot.

Happy Dating – Bring Your Happiness With You

Happy Dating Couple Being happy is important, especially when your dating life is active. Why?

First of all – because other people can sense your happiness or un-happiness. If you come to a date happy, your date will feel that and will respond accordingly. I did numerous tests myself, and any time I came to a date sad, grumpy or simply unsatisfied – it plain didn’t work. The girl I went on a date with just didn’t want me – plan and simple. Even if she was interested – there was a cloud of sadness or unhappiness that prevented her from getting in touch later or to respond to my attempts to contact her.

Second – it lowers your self-esteem and self-confidence. We talked about self-confidence before, so go visit that post. In short – the better you feel about yourself, the better she will feel about you. One of my dates told me that the minute she met me she felt my presence, in her words: “I felt like I am with a MAN!”. Only a few months before that another girl, just like this one was telling me that I am “not sexually attractive” and she doesn’t really want to be anything more than friends.

Last, but not least – people like to associate themselves with other happy people. Look around – how often do you see your coworkers or friends post pictures of themselves being sad, grumpy, deeply concerned or crying? You are more likely to see happy vacation faces, happy children smiles or happy romantic couples photos. Behind it there is a same reason – people want to associate themselves with happy people. It makes them happy too. So is your date – she wants others to see that she’s good and she can make her date happy.

Don’t just go on a date and kill it all out. Bring your happy face, happy thoughts, happy smiles and who knows – maybe by the same day three months from now, one sunny morning she will tell you smiling as happy as it goes: “Honey, today’s our three months anniversary”. Be happy.