Dating Archives - Page 2 of 2

August 1, 2008

Hot Weather Dating

Don’t know about you, but here in NY almost every day it’s around or above 90 degrees. How would you date in this hostile environment, when even air is sweating?

Well, if you accept that you just absolutely HAVE TO abide to certain limitations, then you’re good to go. Just make sure you know what you’re doing. Below is the list of DOs and DON’Ts for hot weather dating.

DO: Shower in warm or cold water before the date. Don’t use extremely hot or extremely cold water though, since your body will be trying to regain temperature balance and produce more heat while at it. More heat means more sweat.

DON’T: Drink sweetened and carbonated beverages. Sweetened beverages, like cola, skew the sugar balance in your body, making you drink more and more. You end up feeling bloated and, again, sweating.

DO: Drink as little as you can. The less you drink, the less sweat your body produces.

DON’T: Stop drinking at all. You need to keep your body hydrated in hot weather, it’s a must! So you have to practice a little by going from larger to smaller amounts of water until you feel that you had enough water not to feel thristy, but you’re not sweating or sweating very little.

DO: Use anti-perspirants, deodorants and other sweating counter-measures.

DON’T: Overuse cologne. Personally I can’t feel smells at all, but my well-placed sources confirm that one thing that’s one thing that is worse then sweaty smelly guy on a date is the guy who hits you with his cologne smell from mile away.

DO: Set up your date as late as you both possibly can. This way you are dating at the lowest outside temperature possible.

DON’T: Set up your date so late that you both are falling asleep. You want to make an impression of an interesting guy, not comfortable pillow. And don’t even get me started if you snore…

DO: Use air conditioner in your car. If it’s broken – fix it.

DON’T: Use mass transit when going on a date. You may feel you’re in rush, the airconditioner may be broken, it could be to hot or too cold in the bus or on the train. If there is no alternative – get to the place at least 20 – 30 minutes ahead of time, bring some large wet napkins and dry paper towels and use them.

DO: Calm down before the date. If you get too anxious you may start sweating again.

DON’T: Bring your sweating or smell up in the conversation. If you feel that you’ve reached an unacceptable level of sweating – excuse yourself to the restroom and wipe whatever body parts you can with cold wet and then dry towels. This will both remove sweat and cool down your skin.

Of course, these DOs and DON’Ts don’t apply for everyone, your case could be significantly different. However, most of us could save a trouble by following this simple dating advice.

One more word for guys with little extra padding around the body. Sorry folks, I’ve been like that for quite some time, so I know what it feels like. Aside from the advice to hit the gym in the fall (we’ll get to that in this blog soon) I can only suggest you limit your activities in the open air to as small as possible. My course of action was as follows:

take a mildly warm shower, cool down after it
walk to the car, pump the AC, cool down
wipe arms, neck and shoulders with dry paper towels
drive to date’s place, pick her up, get her to the place
park as close to the place as possible or submit to valet parking’s mercy (both looking for parking and valet are known problems in NY)
get into the place that is well airconditioned
drink very little water
order very easy and light food – seafood or chicken, eat vegetables instead of drinking
avoid spicy food and heavy drinks like beer
by the end of the meal (usually before the desert) excuse myself to the men’s room, wipe sweat if there’s any, cool down the skin, maybe wash the face with cold water
drive date back home as close to the entrance as possible
try not to get out of the car unless absolutely neccessary

Keep in mind that your health is much more important then any kind of date, so if you feel that no matter what you do you will feel overheated – just postpone your dating efforts until it cools off outside.

June 18, 2008

What’s With The Car, Dude?

The previous post (Dating in Pictures) has generated the feedback that wasn’t quite expected. As you can see there are little comments there, but boy, you had to see those e-mails!

Generally I can’t judge your photos, since I am a guy and the picture of you without your shirt can generate interest only if you’re a woman with at least D-size breasts. Otherwise – I have no idea how attractive you look. On the other hand, if you look dumb – showing off that size 56 belly – I’ll be sure to let you know.

A lot of people missed a very important point of the previous post – DON’T MAKE PICTURES WITH YOU AND YOUR CAR. 90% of women will consider you either an asshole or an easy money. Either way you loose. Remember – girl look good with the car, guys look good with girls. Don’t confuse yourself there.

June 5, 2008

Dating In Pictures

(This post have been intentionally left without the pictures. Think of one yourself.)

It’s year 2008 and there’s no need to remind you that almost all communications are now online. There’s also a great chance that you are trying to find your dates on the internet, on one of numerous dating web sites. That – or rather pictures on those profiles – would be the focus of our attention here.

The most common mistake almost everyone seems to make is taking a picture with something that should translate a “subliminal” message. Guys take their pictures with their supposedly hot car in the background, while girls prefer to lean heavily on party or travel photographs. Let’s look at these cases a little closer.

There’s nothing wrong in posting you picture in or around your car – IF YOU DESIGNED THE CAR YOURSELF! Otherwise the message you’re sending is basically “I am so fat/ugly/dumb that I had to put my car into the picture to make the photograph worth looking at“. Think about it for a moment. Unless you are on a hunt for a gold digger the expensive car in the background doesn’t really add anything to your profile. By the same rationale you might have took picture with your neighbour’s car, so if you think you project an image of a wealthy individual – you’re wrong.

Same kind of thought process should be applied to the pictures from parties. Just think there for a moment: if you post your pictures from your friend’s bachelor partwhere you’re surrounded with at least three almost naked strippers – you’re saying that you are unable to be in a serious relationship. If you have that macho look with a bottle of beer in your hand – it means that’s pretty much what you want to do in life. If you pose semi-naked showing off your muscles it means there’s nothing else about you but those muscles. Good for a one-night stand, but nothing more. Picture of you and similarly drunk friends – well, you got the idea.

So what’s a good pciture? Honestly – I don’t know. The picture I had on my dating profile that won me the hottest girl that was around wasn’t of a good quality. It showed me from shoulders up, the naked shoulder muscles were out, with one of my cats sitting on my hand. I wasn’t quite shaved and had a regular inquisitive look on my face. As I have found out what girls thought was something like “Well, this guy is strong – look at those muscles – but has a tender side to him, since he’s holding a cat just like he would have held a baby. Let me give him a try…” Can’t say how close to the truth all this is, after all – this was said on a date in order to get me interested, but I think you got the drift.

Of course, the picture alone won’t give you a perfect date, as it has to be YOUR picture. You also should think about what you say or write. And good luck with dating, the season is long open.

February 5, 2008

Happy Dating – Bring Your Happiness With You

Being happy is important, especially when your dating life is active. Why?

First of all – because other people can sense your happiness or un-happiness. If you come to a date happy, your date will feel that and will respond accordingly. I did numerous tests myself, and any time I came to a date sad, grumpy or simply unsatisfied – it plain didn’t work. The girl I went on a date with just didn’t want me – plan and simple. Even if she was interested – there was a cloud of sadness or unhappiness that prevented her from getting in touch later or to respond to my attempts to contact her.

Second – it lowers your self-esteem and self-confidence. We talked about self-confidence before, so go visit that post. In short – the better you feel about yourself, the better she will feel about you. One of my dates told me that the minute she met me she felt my presence, in her words: “I felt like I am with a MAN!”. Only a few months before that another girl, just like this one was telling me that I am “not sexually attractive” and she doesn’t really want to be anything more than friends.

Last, but not least – people like to associate themselves with other happy people. Look around – how often do you see your coworkers or friends post pictures of themselves being sad, grumpy, deeply concerned or crying? You are more likely to see happy vacation faces, happy children smiles or happy romantic couples photos. Behind it there is a same reason – people want to associate themselves with happy people. It makes them happy too. So is your date – she wants others to see that she’s good and she can make her date happy.

Don’t just go on a date and kill it all out. Bring your happy face, happy thoughts, happy smiles and who knows – maybe by the same day three months from now, one sunny morning she will tell you smiling as happy as it goes: “Honey, today’s our three months anniversary”. Be happy.

February 3, 2008

Very First Girl

My very first girl (don’t laugh!) was a cute 6-year old. I was a 6-year old cute boy then, so there wasn’t anything illegal involved. However, being a shy guy I still am, I managed to enjoy a continuous kissing sessions behind some abandoned building. She was, of course, against it, but I was damn persuasive. Besides, we all wanted to know what it feels like and why all those men and women on TV made such a big fuzz about it. Remember, we were 6, we had no idea what the hell the porn is.

Must admit – it doesn’t sound like much and it wasn’t much then. But now come to think of it – I was the earliest among my peers to start dating and actually got to a second base. She bragged about it even more then I did. We were heroes.

We didn’t even break up. Her parents moved to another part of town, so she went to a different kindergarten. Short story.

Technorati : dating, memoirs

January 21, 2008

Availability of Unavailable

You hook up with this great guy or gal. You exchange your phone numbers, you called each other couple of times. You set up a date. Ten minutes before the Hour H he called and said he has an emergency meeting. Or she called and said her mom got sick. You reschedule for tomorrow.

Tomorrow you get yourself ready, but 15 minutes before date he calls and says there’s an emergency at work and he needs to be there ASAP. Or she calls and says that her best friend got into car accident and she has to be there for her. You reschedule for next week.

Next week… well, you’ve got the idea. You are puzzled, because you still haven’t been on a single date with the person, so why all the avoidance? The answer is simple – the person you are trying to date is unavailable and this is exactly how such unavailability looks like in real life. The person could be married, or have a full-time girlfriend, or engaged, or… well, whatever. Point is – they play this game for either of two reasons: a) they need some excitement, and b) they want to see other people but can’t. Mainly because their other half wouldn’t let them.

Getting stood up because your date isn’t honest with you isn’t a pretty sight. Some ladies suggest that you keep couple of opportunities open for any night. If one of them failed, you can always roll back to another. Since you are not into anything serious yet, there is a high chance it will make sense. Also, there is nothing wrong with this, since this will boost your self-esteem and will just make you feel good.

Of course, if you really like the person, you’ve been on more then three dates with him or her and really want to show it – you wouldn’t do anything like this. On the contrary, offer your help, a lift to a place or a hand to help. Never worked for me though, but you may just be a little luckier.

January 3, 2008

Dating 101 – 5 dating basics

Just to kick start the conversation, let’s go over basics. Sure, you’ve seen this a thousand times, but according to my reports from trusted sources around 75% of us, guys, forget at least one of them. So here’s the breakdown.

Be confident on your date (read more about this here). It means that you have to be calm and respectful, but not acting aloof. Also, it doesn’t mean that you have to boast about yourself all the time. Let the girl speak, listen, ask questions. And no, you can’t ask “can we go to bed already?”, not unless you are on a date with hooker.
Be on time (read more about this here). Girls don’t really want to wait, so unless she’s looking for a sugar daddy and you take your time deciding between Bugatti and Rolls-Royce – be on time. Bring your trusty smartphone or PDA (not your favorite porn magazine), because you will be waiting for at least 10 minutes. It’s very rare that the girl would show up on time (if she does – she’s either desperate or control freak, either case is very dangerous, beware!).
Bring enough cash (read more about this here). You WILL BE PAYING FOR HER ON A DATE. Unless you are a dork, mama’s boy or plain old asshole – you will be paying for her on a date. If you want more then just a date – you will be paying for her on a date. If you want her to respect you – you will be paying for her from the beginning. Unless, of course, you are looking for sugar mommy. But then – you are reading the wrong blog. This is one of the main tricks girls like to play: when your waiter brings your check she may go for a wallet. This is a good moment to do two things. First – tell her (with confidence in your voice) that you will take care of that. Second – if her hands are close enough – try to cover her hand with yours. Oh, and try not to nail her little palm to the table – be gentle. It may not sound like much, but it will give you the necessary clues as to what she thinks of you. If she insists on paying no matter what – you’re out. If she takes her hand out from under yours too fast – bad sign. If she lets you pay and don’t immediately withdraw her hand – you’re on the right track, keep up the good job.
(Note: a dinner for two in a nice restaurant in NYC, Brooklyn or Queens may run up to $150, so make sure you have something left afterwards. Also, be prepared and have couple of alternatives in case she’s a vegan, don’t like sushi or not into exotic food).
No matter how good, bad or inadequate you think your date was – be a gentleman (read more about this here). Don’t say or do anything that may offend her. Wait until she’s in the cab, or in case you are driving her – make sure she enters her house/building. In New York boroughs it is considered a nice gesture to wait for lady to enter the building and shut the door behind her. Doors have plenty of glass for you to see that she’s safely inside. Again – doesn’t sound like much, but if your date wasn’t a total disaster it may give her a thought that you are a considerate man. If she already doesn’t think you’re a freak, that is. After she’s out of sight you can proceed to calling yourself a moron for telling that stupid story you thought was funny, spilled ketchup or whatever else we, guys, do on a sloppy dates.
Call her next day and thank her for the time (read more about this here). Yes, she looked ten years older and twenty five pounds larger then her pictures on a dating site where you hit it off. Yes, she ordered the most expensive meal at the restaurant just to see how you will react. And yes, she didn’t let you kiss her goodbye when she left. Call her. You still may be surprised. My trusty sources tell me that by next day girl doesn’t remember half of your flops but will remember that you liked her sense of humor, her fluffy hair or how you opened the car door for her. Use it!
BONUS! ONE MORE FREE DATING ADVICE! One more thing you absolutely must do on any date. Be generous – give her plenty of compliments. Even if she totally don’t deserve it – they cost you nothing at all. Don’t go into clothes unless you absolutely know what you are doing, but be inventive. If she spills coffee on the table say you too like to tell future by looking at coffee grounds.