Sometimes people around you give you the most interesting discussion subjects. Or, maybe, it is so because we tend to listen to them the most. In any case, let’s talk about things like sharing, giving and receiving.
It all started with a person who is very close to me and is my close friend being very depressed. After we went through the routine of “What’s going on? – Nothing, I’m just depressed” Q & A, we stopped for a moment to catch a breath. Then, slower, we proceeded to uncover the real state of things.
It turned out that she was depressed simply because everyone else is either too annoying, too arrogant or seem not to notice her. Sometimes she would come up to someone with a question and the person would turn around like she’s not there. Or people would look at her like she’s the enemy of the state. Or refuse to do anything she asks – for no apparent reason. Then it dawned on me – I remembered I was in just the same situation at one point of my life.
All those people are not disliking you – I said. If right after encountering you someone would come up to them and ask if they remember who they just talk to – they would’ve probably just shrugged. The reason is simple – you don’t generate sympathy. You generate annoyance, arrogance, fear, hatred, they feel that Dark Side is strong with you or whatever else. Point is – they don’t feel sympathy. That is why they ignore you, give you those cold looks and so on. They feel your unhappiness and they try to avoid it at all cost. Most of the time they do it unconsciously.
But what do I do? – she asked. Well, – I said – it’s simple. Whenever you come up in the morning – look in the mirror and say you like what you see. If you have a nice smile – smile to yourself like it’s a pretty stranger you want to get. Whenever you approach someone – try to be positive, feel good about that person and generate sympathy. It will be hard at the beginning, but it will get better over time. Sometimes the person you will be talking to is going to be the most annoying person in the world, ugly as hell and stupid as a tree. Still, try to feel a little sympathy towards that person and I promise you – you will be rewarded tenfold.
I realize she may not be happy with my answer, since it doesn’t provide an immediate rectification to the problem. But it does give a solution, one that will work as soon as the next encounter happens.
Now, some of you may ask – what does all this has to do with dating? If it isn’t clear enough – I’ll explain. Whenever you go on a date – ESPECIALLY FIRST DATE – that’s how your counterpart will know what kind of person you are. You may have the best shoes, jeans and shirt in the world, or you may have the prettiest natural boobs that make Victoria Secret models cry, but if you generate those “bad vibrations” – your date will never notice how cute, smart or lovely you are. On the other hand – I’ve personally witnessed a DATE GONE PERFECT because both people were generating sympathy and good emotions towards everyone around them and what started as an encounter of two strangers just two hours later was a conversation between two closest people on Earth.